Since I was using attempted murder as an example of how one could be
charged with a crime when the intended crime was not committed I
reminded myself of the time a cop threatened to arrest me for attempted
murder. I tell you this only because I thought you might find it
amusing. In retrospect I do. I was driving along once at night. I came
up to an elementary school on my left and sitting in the parking lot was
a police car with its blue lights flashing, its headlights on and a door
standing open. There was no cop in it nor outside of it that I could
see. That made me curious and so I was looking at it wondering what was
going on. As I passed it I returned my eyes to the road just in time to
see the cop. The image I saw was burned into my brain and I still recall
it in detail. Right there in my headlights was an airborne cop. He was
actually in the air above the road with arms and legs spread out, with a
flashlight also in the air and detached from his right hand by several
inches, and a look on his face that could only be utter panic. I hit my
brakes just in time to avoid hitting the stopped car that was partially
in the road and partially in a deep ditch. I could see that the car was
stuck and that the cop had been directing traffic around it, but because
I was distracted by his cop car with all of its lights flashing I did
not see him until too late. It was his leap that I caught part of in my
headlights that saved him, not my application of the brakes. The
application of the brakes only saved me from hitting the car. Once I had
stopped here came the cop from the foliage that he had leaped into. From
his mouth came a flurry of invectives each of which was preceded by the
words god damn. It was god damn idiot, god damn moron, god damn fool and
god damn everything else. Between the god damns he threatened to arrest
me for reckless driving, attempted murder and numerous attempted other
crimes. Even while all this name calling and threats were going on I was
hard pressed to not laugh. What struck me as so funny were all the
leaves and twigs adorning his uniform and his hair too. He must have
landed in a real thicket. Amazingly enough, though, he finally said that
he had other things to deal with other than me and he told me to get out
of there before he really did arrest me. I left without even a ticket.
--
---
Christopher Hitchens
“ What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.
”
― Christopher Hitchens,