John Reed was the author of Ten Days That Shook the World. He was an
American journalist who traveled to Russia and witnessed the revolution
and that book is about that revolution. There is a point in that book
where he describes having dinner in a restaurant. He said that the
waiters were wearing a sign hung from around their necks. The sign read,
"I am sorry that I must be a waiter to make a living. Please do not
insult me by offering me a tip."
---
Christopher Hitchens
“ What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.
”
― Christopher Hitchens,
On 4/21/2019 12:03 PM, Carl Jarvis wrote:
One of my staff was a Japanese American who had moved to the USA at
the age of 13. She planned a visit back to her family home near
Tokyo, after an absence of 20 years. Over several weeks she shopped
for gifts for all her family members living in Japan, as well as her
teachers and the administrator of the school she'd attended, and
neighbors and friends of the family. When we got to talking about how
much effort and expense this gift giving was costing her, she said it
was customary, and expected. To forget even one person would be taken
as an insult to all.
And of course, when she returned to Seattle, she had about as many
gifts from them as she'd brought.
But the one "gift exchange" that we do in America, that I hate, but
which I always participate in, is not called Gifting at all. It's
called, "Tipping". This old custom of giving money to someone for
simply doing their job, runs counter to all of my upbringing. This
Tipping practice has nothing but negative consequences. It allows the
owner of the restaurant to underpay his/her employees, which is
disrespectful at best. It makes the staff into beggars, focused on
extracting as much tip money as they can, focused on the money rather
than how best to serve your dining needs. And it puts you, the diner,
in the role of a superior. This custom, which began with an extra
coin or two, as a thanks for prompt service, has morphed into a
demand, a shakedown.
If we fail to produce an adequate tip, which has risen from 10% to 15%
or 18% or even 20%, we are put in the role of the bad guy, the
cheapskate.
In my years as a RT, I have never taken a gift other than a cup of
coffee or a home-made cookie. The Department of Services for the
Blind would send me packing if I were caught "taking bribes". And as
a private contractor we do our work for the agreed amount provided in
our contract. And yet, many of our clients have been conditioned to
want to show their appreciation with an extra few dollars.
It's a catch 22.
Carl Jarvis
On 4/20/19, Roger Loran Bailey <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
We discussed this once before. I was reading a book authored by someone
from, I think, Cameroon. If what he described applied to other African
countries it explains a lot. It explains at least a couple of cases I
can point to. I was once acquainted with a woman who was into pen
palling. She was astounded at the requests made by her African pen pals.
They wanted her to send them some very expensive gifts. In my own
experience I remember a certain foreign student when I was in college.
He was from Nigeria. He did not so much ask for material gifts, but he
was always asking for favors, rather outrageous favors. To a lesser
extent other African students tended to ask for gifts and favors that
were a bit extreme too. This particular one, though, was always laughed
at behind his back for his gall. Anyway, I think the book I read
explained what was going on. The author made a trip back to his country
and after having lived in America for years he was taken aback himself
by the requests that were made of him even if he knew that it was
coming and even if he had expected it. According to him there is a
system of patronage woven into the culture. If you want to get anything
done or to acquire anything of value you have to participate whether you
like it or not. For the most part, though, it is not a matter of liking
it or not. It is just the way things are done. So according to him when
people from his country, and presumably from other countries in the
subSaharan region, ask for gifts they are not necessarily asking with
the real expectation that they are going to get them. I doubt that they
would turn it down if you gave them the gift, though. The point is that
they are honoring you by asking you to be their patron. As impolite as
it might sound to American ears in their culture it is like offering a
compliment or otherwise showing you respect and goodwill. And they are
likely to expect that you will ask for gifts from them too. As much as
it is a way to honor you it still remains that when each party asks for
a gift and both are interested enough to follow through that drives the
economy and mutually helps people to get things done.
---
Christopher Hitchens
“ What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without
evidence. ”
― Christopher Hitchens,
On 4/20/2019 4:19 PM, Miriam Vieni wrote:
I seldom get messages begging for funds. I suppose that Blind Democracy
sounds like a good place to beg for money. The message reminded me of when
I
traveled with a group from the Ethical Humanist Society and Adelphi
School
of Social Work in 1986 to Kenya. All sorts of people were constantly
asking
us, as individuals, for money, for aid to travel to the US or to sends
them
specific items when we returned home. People had absolutely no
embarrassment
about doing this. I remember how uncomfortable I felt because it was
clear
that they saw us as wealthy people who owed them whatever they requested
because of who we were in relation to them. It must have been even more
uncomfortable for the African Americans in our group, who had told us
that
this trip would be an opportunity for them to form a relationship with
the
land of their ancestors. But the Kenyans did not see them as kin. They
saw
them as rich American tourists.
Miriam