[etni] FW: One for the English teacher- very cute!!
- From: "Elaine Baker" <elaine1@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "ETNI List" <etni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2006 14:09:44 +0200
Once again, The Washington Post has published the
winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which
readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for
common words. The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight
you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a
flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while
drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you
absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph(v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up
after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his
conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand):
The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto
the roof and gets stuck there.
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