For the past week or so, I have been waging a major battle with my conscience, and the lines that I am about to write are the result of much deliberation and observation. Firstly, I must state that I supported wholeheartedly the strike when it first started. I believed, as I still do, that the education system had reached a point at which teachers had no choice but to make their voices heard. And what better way to do so than by downing tools. Over three weeks has passed since and I have begun to wonder if it is all worth it, if the damage caused is going to be offset by whatever benefits we and our pupils will reap in the end. I have come to a decision; if the Labour Court issues injunctions against us, I will go back to work. I signed a letter of intent to resign at a demonstration a couple of weeks ago, but even then I was having second thoughts. I think that I did so out of social pressure as everyone was signing around me. Call me fickle, but I have seen a lot of herd-following lately. At the beginning of the strike I wrote an article, published in the Jerusalem Post complaining that no one really cared about the work done by secondary school teachers. Despite all the cars honking at us as we stand brandishing our placards at major junctions around the country, I still don't feel that Israeli society really gives much of a hoot about us. In fact, we teachers seem to be in a bit of a pickle; if we take more drastic action to get ourselves noticed as other pressure groups have done in the past e.g. the handicapped, single mothers etc. we will get accused of behaving in a way unsuitable for teachers. If we just stand around chanting inane slogans, the media gets bored and we get pushed off the news by stories about the Prime Minister's prostate gland or the death of an entertainer. As you may have guessed, I have become quite disillusioned with the strike. This disillusionment has been fortified by the growing realisation that our union has basically failed in its organisation and in getting our message across. Consider the following points, if you will: * The Union sent us out on strike without any plans for demonstrations or protests. The various demonstrations have come about as a result of the organisation of groups of teachers themselves without any initiative being taken by the Irgun. A whole week went past without any attempt to reach the media. * There is no strike fund. How long Irgun members will be able to carry on without a salary is anyone's guess. * There are union members who are continuing to work throughout the strike. This is especially true in the religious sector. I suggested setting up protests in front of schools that were defying the strike. As a teacher in a religious school, I felt that this was the thing to do. We had to reach teachers who were working and appeal to their consciences. Although many people agreed with me this suggestion was turned down for various reasons by the organizers of the demonstrations. * The union itself has done nothing to approach strike-breakers and to explain to them the consequences of their actions. It has the means to sanction strike-breakers, but this doesn't seem to be on its list of priorities. * Much of the support for the strike is coming from teachers who are continuing to get paid during the strike even though they are not working (or are working only nominally or minimally.) I am referring to members of the Histadrut or non-affiliated teachers who work in schools which are not operating because of the strike. These people are having their cake and eating it. In spite of the disgruntlement felt by many Histadrut members because of the agreement signed with the government, we have not witnessed a mass desertion of that union's ranks and a swelling of our own. I don't know how many of these people there are but I have personally told a few Histadrut members at demonstrations that if they continue to receive their salaries they are not supporting our struggle, no matter how loud they shout and how many banners they wave. My fear is that, taking all these points into account, we might witness a scenario wherein striking Irgun teachers, especially the older ones, will feel hesitant about supporting the continuation of the strike because of financial reasons. The strike however will continue because of the support given by teachers who are continuing to get paid. This will be a blatantly unfair situation. I think that the time has come when we must ask ourselves how long we are prepared to strike and at what cost. I hate to be too cynical but I think that this strike has taken on a dynamic of its own and there might just be a few people with vested interests in keeping it going for as long as possible. I am awaiting the slings and arrows that will no doubt be coming my way. I just can't help feeling that I am betraying my calling with each passing day of the strike. Shavua Tov David