[etni] Fwd: MENSA INVITATIONAL
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- Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2010 18:41:10 -0500
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Esther Revivo <estherrv@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: MENSA INVITATIONAL
This comes out once a year.....just in time to give all you winter
bagrut folks a moment off for pure enjoyment!
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are some of the winners:
Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future
Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.
6. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
7. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
8. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller.
9. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
10. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
11. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
12. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
13. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
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