~~~~~
(er) Dedication: Ca. -> CA or Calif. [BK]
(er) Dedication: Tx. -> TX or Tex.
[BK: While the abbreviations Joe uses are listed in the "Other" column at
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._state_abbreviations any
abbreviations outside the ANSI/USPS and AP columns look very strange to
American eyes.]
~~~~~
It looks strange to me too, but as this is the dedication, I suggest we
leave it as-is because this is basically the author's personal note to the
folks to whom the book is dedicated.
~~~~~
(er) 4: The passage leads to a staircase, at the bottom of which is a
fire exit. -> The passage leads to a fire exit. [lm: cf.ref31]
~~~~~
This change has already been made. Agreed.
~~~~~
(er) 21, 87: overtake him on the left -> overtake him on the right
[lm: because he just hit the crash barrier and some other sections confirm
that you must be driving in the right-hand carriageway]
~~~~~
Agreed.
While there's no particular reason that they would be obeying U.S. rules of
the road after the apocalypse, sections 231 and 260 both have Cal passing
on the right after Mad Dog collides with the crash barrier. Sections 21 and
87 specify that it is the "central" crash barrier. If for no other reason
than to give this American flavor, it makes the most sense to have Cal
overtake him on the right.
~~~~~
(er) 44, 190: Freeway 54 -> Highway 54
[BK: Or, 'the Highway 54 freeway']
~~~~~
Agreed.
~~~~~
(er) 93: You are about to break into a run ... & following [lm: This
account of regrouping with Marine Knott is copied from parallel sections,
but this particular refernce can only be reached from ref.234 in which you
do not seperate from Marine Knott.]
~~~~~
Yeah, that passage makes no sense in context. I suggest we remove most of
the following...
You are about to break into a run when suddenly you hear a noise behind you
that makes you freeze: it is the sound of a pistol being cocked.
Instinctively you reach for your gun as you spin around to face your
potential attacker, but your fear quickly evaporates when you see the
familiar face of Marine Knott peering at you from over the walkway wall.
'You're getting a touch careless, Cal,' he says, as he holsters his pistol
and clambers over the wall to join you.
'Yeah, you're right,' you reply, self-consciously. 'I oughta know by now.
Better late than dead, right?'
'Right,' he says, and slaps you reassuringly on the back. 'The bridge is
over there. It'll only take a few minutes to reach it. If all's well, the
captain and Sergeant Haskell should be there already waitin' for us.'
... and change it to this:
'The bridge is over there,' Marine Knott says. 'It'll only take a few
minutes to reach it. If all's well, the captain and Sergeant Haskell should
be there already waitin' for us.'
~~~~~
(er) 217, 292: and help the sergeant search the Mavericks' bodies
[lm: list of items found cf. refs. 82,320]
~~~~~
Leave as-is.
There are possible in-game reasons that these sections don't reward Cal
with items. You reach Section 217 by taking longer than four rounds to kill
the clansman in section 176. You reach section 292 by not volunteering for
the ambush in the first place. So it makes sense.
~~~~~
(er) 233: visi-cassettes -> vidi-cassettes
~~~~~
As a completely made-up futuristic technology, I don't see how its name can
be wrong. Leave as-is.
~~~~~
(er) 248: Add together your Shooting Skill total and your current
ENDURANCE points score. [lm: also 133, 278, 339. I don't know if this is
wrong, but it seems odd to only need a score of 7 to pass this check]
~~~~~
It does seem quite low, but we can't really second guess this game mechanic
choice. What would we change it to?
~~~~~
(er) 258: gasolene filter pipe -> gasolene filler pipe
~~~~~
Agreed.
~~~~~
(er) 270: spit a core of yellow flame -> spit a cone of yellow flame
~~~~~
Agreed.
~~~~~
(er) 276: 1 a.m. -> 1 am
~~~~~
Leave as-is. The abbreviation "a.m." is pretty standard. FWIW, if we went
with "am", I'd vote for setting it in small caps as "AM", but there's
nothing wrong with "a.m.".
~~~~~
(er) 336: roadmasters -> road masters [or, simply delete
'roadmasters']
~~~~~
Can't think of a reason that "roadmasters" would be wrong. Leave as-is.
--
Jon