[projectaon] Re: Grand Master comment period [Books 15-20]
- From: Jonathan Blake <jonathan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 8 Sep 2012 17:42:19 -0700
On Fri, Aug 31, 2012 at 6:44 AM, Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> On 30/08/2012 23:07, Jonathan Blake wrote:
>>
>> On Wed, Aug 29, 2012 at 3:04 AM, Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
>> wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>> Speaking about commas:
>>>
>>> <http://projectaon.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=gotopost&board=helpwanted&thread=706&post=38777>
>>>
>>> (er) 02fotw 49:
>>> Sails tear, ropes mysteriously untie themselves and timbers warp and
>>> leak.
>>> The men become short-tempered in the cramped quarters and fighting, often
>>> to
>>> the death, is commonplace.
>>>
>>>
>>> The first sentence should have a serial comma before 'and'. [tw] writes:
>>> "I
>>> would have written "their cramped quarters". A comma before "and
>>> fighting"
>>> might also improve readability." I'm not sure about changing 'the' to
>>> 'their' (the original seems correct to me), but should there be a comma
>>> before 'and fighting' in view of last week's discussion?
>>
>> "The men become short-tempered in the cramped quarters, and fighting —
>> often to the death — is commonplace."
>
> I'd also vote for the first option with the dashes. It's less fussy.
Fixed.
--
Jon
~~~~~~
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