[projectaon] Re: The Grey Star business
- From: Jonathan Blake <blake.jon@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 23 Aug 2005 16:50:57 -0700
On 8/21/05, Thomas Wolmer <angantyr@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> Alright, I have now updated the XML files (being checked in as this is
> sent) with the non-contested footnotes and small illustration changes.
>
[snip footnotes]
Those look good although I would change the phrase ", even though
your WILLPOWER score may be negative even before the subtraction" to
". This may leave you with a negative WILLPOWER score, or if it was
already negative, it may make your score become even more negative".
> Then there's the tricky Section 37 of 02tfc. Note that unlike the
> two other paths from the previous "circular cave", here you are told
> you are climbing upwards, so from a geographical point of view you
> may be somewhere up in a mountain above the Desolation Valley.
> And finally, there's the option to add something like "Through a crack
> in the northern cave wall you catch a glimpse of a desolate plain far
> below." This would also require a paragraph break before "You find the
> skeletal remains of several bodies ...".
I'm still leaning more toward this option. Perhaps this works:
"You walk along the west passage. It rises steadily and eventually
opens into a small cave with an opening that overlooks a large gorge.
Beneath the light of the full moon you see miles and miles of
contorted rock. It looks as if it has been melted in a furnace.
"You find the skeletal remains of several bodies but as you lift a
skull to examine it, it crumbles to dust in your hand."
> Finally, there's small1 of 02tfc. I'm now leaning more towards the
> Mind Gem (174/292, 266, 282, 305) than a bold from your Staff, but if
> it's really the Staff I want to remove it from Section 132.
I doesn't say "Mind Gem" to me, personally, and I'd be a bit confused
about it if I found it in one of the mind gem sections. I see your
point about removing it from 132.
--
Jon
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