[etni] fw: an example of praise
- From: "Ask" <ask@xxxxxxxx>
- To: <etni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 10 Jan 2006 08:45:34 +0200
From: "Aviva Shapiro" - alshapirose@xxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: an example of praise..
Lev, (and any other interested souls)
I don't believe in giving praise for no reason. I believe that we should
all try to look more at the good than the bad. For example, recently I
sat in a class of one of my teachers. She had told me about a boy who often
misbehaved. I told her to try and reinforce the good behavior. I watched
this boy (who , yes probably behaved better because I was sitting in the
class !!) and who was really attentive and behaving well. Well NOT once
did she look at hime, or walk over and put her hand on his shoulder and say
quietly , "hey you are really listening today .." or something like this.
Instead after sitting and listening attentively for about 20 minutes ( a
long time for him !!) the minute he turned and asked the boy behind him
something, she was on to him. 'why are you talking??".
This is what I mean by real praise. The kids was great and she never even
noticed him. ONLY when he did something she thought was disturbing did she
notice him . It was as if she was out to get him
What did this kid learn. That the 20 or 25 minutes of being attentive
amounted to nothing in this teacher's eyes. What a pity !!! She almost had
him.
NO we shouldn't give praise 'stum' (for no reason or without meaning it)
but we should all should try and see the good rather than the bad. There
is always bad, and always disruptive etc. Stop looking for it. Notice what
the kids do well NOT what they don't do well or don't do , for that matter.
I'm only sorry it took me so long to realize this and I apologize to the
hundreds or thousands. (perhaps!!) of students whom I didn't praise over
the years.
So try it.. but mean it too !!!
All the best,
Aviva
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