dedication: It might be nice to footnote who Aung San Suu Kyi is. acknowledgments: Needs to be updated. We don't need be specific on the proofreading because Sean Donald did the entire book. disciplines: "If this is the first New Order adventure you have undertaken then your present rank is that of Kai Grand Master Senior." Is this necessary? Or does this seem to imply that you can read the books out of order? I suggest that we remove this sentence. disciplines: "all of the New Order Grand Master Disciplines will be of use to you at some point during your mission" -> "all of the New Order Grand Master Disciplines may be of use to you at some point during your mission" disciplines: "you are skilled in the use of one of the weapons listed in the Equipment section." Are you _really_ limited to Quarterstaff, Bow, Dagger, Sword, or Axe? disciplines: "your original four Grand Master Disciplines, your Kai Weapon,..." The Kai Weapon hasn't been mentioned yet, so maybe a footnote that says "Details about the Kai Weapon appear in the next section of the game rules." Also, it might be good to add to this sentence the idea that this is contingent on completing the first portion of the mission successfully. equipment: "only two of which may be Weapons" Including the Quiver? equipment: "record them on your Weapons List." And on the Special Items list? equipment: "then you may add the higher bonus to your COMBAT SKILL." Footnote: "These bonuses are not cumulative." equipment: It seems like we need to add some margin to the bottom of tables in the text. equipment: "If you have the Discipline of Grand Weaponmastery with Bow, you may add 3 points to any number you pick from the Random Number Table, when using the Bow." Wouldn't this be nice to know when picking your Disciplines? Footnote, or move this there? improved disciplines: "Lone Wolf New Order series" Should we italicize all of "Lone Wolf New Order"? That's it for frontmatter. -- Jon ~~~~~~ Manage your subscription at http://www.freelists.org/list/projectaon