Bonnie,
My mother was fond of saying, "They don't send directions along with
these babies". Another of her remarks was, "You get these parents too
late in life to do anything with."
After having both knees replaced, one hip and one shoulder, along with
carpel tunnel surgery on both hands and some fusion on the lower back,
mother said to me one day, "I always thought that as I grew older I
would slow down. But I never thought I'd fall apart!"
Mother died from cancer in 1996, at the not so old age of 84. 21
years and I still feel as if I could pick up my phone and call her.
My folks and I talked every Saturday for many years. Now it is my
eldest daughter and I who carry on that tradition. Which reminds me,
time to call Jennifer.
Carl Jarvis
On 8/11/17, Bonnie L. Sherrell <blslarner@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
My problem now, Carl, is trying to get my stepson to accept that as he's
forty-seven rather than seventeen, I cannot remain responsible for him or
his
happiness. It doesn't help that he's critically bipolar and a not-always
recovering addict.
My own mother died young for her family, while her mother lived to nearly
ninety-five bitter years old and her mother-in-law was a hundred three when
she
finally let go of her own misery. I miss Mom terribly, but I'm apparently
the
only one of the four of us kids who does. And I find my brother's
complaints
about how Mom tried to teach by giving examples of what happens when you
make
bad choices have been repeated by my daughter, who resents that I did much
the
same. Both were convinced that they were being judged to be just as stupid
as
the examples we gave them rather than realizing they were given the examples
so
as to figure out that there had to be alternatives to doing similar stupid
things and getting into the same problems as a result. Both were convinced
that
if they did the same things somehow they would prove clever enough not to
suffer
the same consequences--which proved vain.
As a caregiver, I know how hard it is to watch people you've come to love
lose
their memories to the point they can no longer remember how to swallow or
even
how to breathe. I will add Cathy's mom to my prayer list.
Bonnie L. Sherrell
Teacher at Large
"Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very
wise cannot see all ends." LOTR
"Don't go where I can't follow."
We gave the Goblin King control of our nation!