~~~~~
(er) 8: If you wish to attack the clan leader with your bare hands [lm: you
just threw one weapon, but you might have been carrying two.]
~~~~~
The next section (27) doesn't mention anything about being unarmed, so
maybe the following is sufficient?
If you wish to look for another close combat weapon, turn to 105. -> If you
no longer possess a close combat weapon and wish to look for another, turn
to 105.
If you wish to attack the clan leader with your bare hands before he can
free his chainsaw, turn to 27. -> If you wish to attack the clan leader
before he can free his chainsaw, turn to 27.
~~~~~
(er) 11: If you possess at least three Medi-kit units, you are able to
soothe the inflammation with some ointment: restore 1 ENDURANCE point. (If
you wish to do this, remember to erase one Medi-kit unit from your list.)
[lm: What is this saying? Restore one endurance point in addition to the
customary three? Else, why not just use the Medi-kit to restore three
points?]
~~~~~
That is rather odd. I don't have a solid answer. Footnote?
~~~~~
(er) 43, 221: perspex -> Perspex
(er) 50: frisbee -> Frisbee
~~~~~
Agreed.
~~~~~
(er) 51, 315 [x2]: Santa Rosa bridge -> Santa Rosa Bridge [irs: Is there
actually a named 'Santa Rosa Bridge', or is it just a bridge over the Santa
Rosa Wash?]
~~~~~
This should probably stay "Santa Rosa bridge".
~~~~~
(er) 92, 280: you take up your gun [lm: what if you do not have one?]
~~~~~
Footnote?
~~~~~
(er) 153: fitment -> fitting [irs: valid, though fitting is much more
widely used]
~~~~~
It sounds odd to me, but it's a legitimate use of the word. Leave as-is.
~~~~~
(er) 202, 279: orthopaedic -> orthopedic [irs: orthopaedic is the
predominant British spelling, I think it's fine as it is]
~~~~~
Leave as-is.
~~~~~
(er) 225: [lm: Do the items in the lists need to be in caps, even though
they cannot be taken into inventory?]
~~~~~
That might be confusing. I'd leave as-is.
~~~~~
(er) 246 [x2]: Dixie supermart -> Dixie Supermart
~~~~~
I'm guessing it's meant to be a supermart named Dixe (kind of like
Winn-Dixie). Note the parallel that follows: "a Dixie supermart and a
Worldfoods wholesale warehouse".
~~~~~
(er) 250: unseeingly -> unseeing [or, sightlessly]
~~~~~
Sounds weird, but it's a legitimate word. Leave as-is.
~~~~~
(er) 279: [lm: footnote about deducting ammo? and what if you have no
firearm?]
[so: Added ammo footnote; not owning a firearm issue unresolved.]
~~~~~
Footnote?
~~~~~
(er) 289 [x2]: tachometer -> Tacheometer [so: Tachometer measures
speed/rpm; tacheometer is a type of theodolite. Would suggest instead
milometer or odometer (the latter being more US-centric).]
~~~~~
Does anyone call that device a tacheometer or tachymeter? FWIW, I've only
ever called it an odometer.
~~~~~
(er) 309: Having chosen to block the exit, Macy and Langdon wait patiently
while you and Rickenbacker drive off the freeway and -> Having chosen to
block the exit, you and Rickenbacker drive off the freeway, while Macy and
Langdon wait patiently, and
~~~~~
This will make it clear that Cal and Rickenbacker are the ones blocking the
exit, but the proposed change makes the last part of the sentence a bit
awkward. I suggest we make the following change instead:
Having chosen to block the exit, you and Rickenbacker drive off the freeway
and make a wide detour around the town while Macy and Langdon wait
patiently.
--
Jon