[projectaon] Re: Voyage of the Monstone Playtest (Part II)
- From: Ingo Kloecker <projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 23 Apr 2009 00:05:07 +0200
On Wednesday 22 April 2009, Simon Osborne wrote:
> Hi
>
> Here's what I spotted in the numbered sections:
>
> Fixed (and the /test/ version updated):
>
> (er) 17: tavern keeper's -> tavern-keeper's
> (er) 53, 141, 168, 326: nerve-racking -> nerve-wracking
I think this should be reverted (also in lw22 and lw23). According to
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nerve-racking
"nerve-racking" is perfectly alright with "nerve-wracking" being a
variant. And my Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary mentions
only "nerve-racking", but not "nerve-wracking".
> (er) 104: points). -> points.)
> (er) 285: 'Quick men!' -> 'Quick, men!'
> (er) 285: lieutenant, 'follow -> lieutenant. 'Follow
>
> (ne) 67: you by to -> you try to
> (ne) 146, 336: arid hill county -> arid hill country
> (ne) 275: Delete duplicated superfluous "To the east it" statement.
>
> Escalated:
>
> **(er) 36, 105: master Kai -> Master Kai
I disagree, master Osborne. :-) (Or would you actually write "Master
Osborne" in proper English?)
> **(er) 116: grey haired -> grey-haired
Yes. There are several precedences for this.
> **(er) 127: naivety -> naïveté
I agree (as do my Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary and
Merriam-Webster Online).
> **(er) 136, 170, 244, 322, 345: If you possess Grand Weaponmastery
> with Bow, add 3 to the number you have picked -> If you possess Grand
> Weaponmastery with Bow, remember to add 3 to the number you have
> picked [so: This is not an extra bonus, merely a reminder of the
> rules, I think.]
I agree.
> **(er) 175: chamber of the font -> Chamber of the Font
I'd say leave as-is. Or is there any indication that "Chamber of the
Font" is the proper name of this room?
> **(er) 242, 249: Flomi -> flomi [??]
I agree. We do not capitalize names of animals (cf. our Manual of
Style).
> **(er) 275: the great range -> the Great Masourn Range [??]
I don't think "the great range" refers to the Great Masourn Range. It is
unlikely that you can see the Great Masourn Range behind the Koneshi
Mountains from the junction. I think "the great range" refers to the
Koneshi Mountains that lie beyond the "gentle foothills of the Koneshi
Mountains".
Regards,
Ingo
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