[projectaon] Re: Voyage of the Monstone Playtest (Part II)
- From: Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sun, 26 Apr 2009 09:23:47 +0100
On 22/04/2009 23:05, Ingo Kloecker wrote:
On Wednesday 22 April 2009, Simon Osborne wrote:
(er) 53, 141, 168, 326: nerve-racking -> nerve-wracking
I think this should be reverted (also in lw22 and lw23). According to
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nerve-racking
"nerve-racking" is perfectly alright with "nerve-wracking" being a
variant. And my Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary mentions
only "nerve-racking", but not "nerve-wracking".
Weird. Aside from these Lone Wolf books, I've only ever seen it in the form of 'nerve-wracking'.
I'll wait for Jon's decision, but I guess these will be reversed, then.
**(er) 36, 105: master Kai -> Master Kai
I disagree, master Osborne. :-) (Or would you actually write "Master
Osborne" in proper English?)
Er, actually, I would! Kai is being used in lieu of a proper name (since there are 100 random names
you could pick, or even have made one up yourself!), making 'master' a title, which should be
capitalised. I've just noticed a similar thing in Section 61 (master journeyman -> Master
[J]ourneyman).
**(er) 175: chamber of the font -> Chamber of the Font
I'd say leave as-is. Or is there any indication that "Chamber of the
Font" is the proper name of this room?
It's to do with the way the sentence is phrased that made me think this was a specific named
location. I can live with it either way, though. ;-)
**(er) 275: the great range -> the Great Masourn Range [??]
I don't think "the great range" refers to the Great Masourn Range. It is
unlikely that you can see the Great Masourn Range behind the Koneshi
Mountains from the junction. I think "the great range" refers to the
Koneshi Mountains that lie beyond the "gentle foothills of the Koneshi
Mountains".
Ah, I see what you mean. Perhaps for clarity 'the great range' -> 'that great
range', then?
Jon Blake wrote:
Is it just me, or is there more story to the stories lately? It took
me a long time to read through this. This is what I've got:
No, it's not just you! I found this one surprisingly hard going. Some of the later NO adventures are
much more exciting. ;-)
61: journeyman -> Journeyman (x3)
Is it just the occurrences here and in 329 that should be capitalised? What about other instances of
'journeyman'?
67: you by to imagine -> you try to imagine
Fixed!
204: "Your weapon barely clears its scabbard..." yet in 177 in states
"you raise your weapon in readiness to strike out...". Ideas other
than truncating the first sentence to read "The creature is upon
you."?
This change seems the easiest to make.
329: journeyman -> Journeyman
I'll get to fixing what should be fixed in a little while, then I'll post again what issues are
still unresolved. The majority of outstanding issues should be fixed today, I hope.
--
Simon Osborne
Project Aon
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