[projectaon] Wolf's Bane errors
- From: Anders Österberg <Anders_Osterberg@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 31 Jan 2009 11:19:09 +0100
Hi!
I just thought I should leave a contribution to Project Aon, even if it's a
small one. I haven't had the time to read Wolf's Bane properly, so it's quite
possible I have missed a few things. Anyway:
* The Story So Far: "The crowd were quietly hostile". Crowd is singular, so it
should read: "The crowd was quietly hostile".
* Section 38: sweep/swoop. I don't know if this is an error, but it looks a bit
odd. The winds sweep Lone Wolf close to a rock, and then, just a few lines
below, Lone Wolf suddenly swoop past some more rocks. English is not my first
language, so I had to look this up in a dictionary. But I'm still not sure I
understand the distinction between the words. In this case the sweeping seems
to indicate that it's an involuntary movement (due to the strong winds), but if
I'm not mistaken swooping means an intentional movement, like a bird of prey
swoops down on its target. So Lone Wolf swoops past a rock he deliberately
intended to miss? I don't know if this counts as an error, but to me it sounds
a bit weird, as Lone Wolf first sweeps, and then swoops past some rocks.
Wouldn't it be better to use sweep in both cases?
* Sections 56, 102, 248: Darkened staircase/stairway/stairwell. Again, English
is not my first language, but shouldn't it just read "dark"? Otherwise it would
indicate that it's darker than it normally is.
* Sections 77, 246: "toa trees". I don't know what a Toa tree is, but shouldn't
it be capitalized since it's a name?
Section 112: "Your return to Sommerlund will not be alone, Wolf's Bane". This
strikes me as an odd thing to say. Shouldn't it read: "You will not return to
Sommerlund alone, Wolf's Bane"?
* Illustration VIII (section 128): "he eyes of the gigantic serpent radiate
waves of evil, chilling you to your soul". There should be a "T" there, as in
"The eyes".
* Section 331: "Nothing could have prepared you for the sight that now meets
your gaze - it is the foulest you have ever seen." There should be a "thing"
there, as in "it is the foulest thing you have ever seen". The text below the
illustration is correct.
* Section 350: "If you are to prevent the Dark God from launching his armies of
night into Magnamund..." I'm fairly certain Armies of Night should be
capitalized.
Well, that's all I could find. Hopefully there are no more errors. But I read
through the text very hastily, so chances are I missed a few things.
Regards,
Anders Österberg
Other related posts: