[projectaon] Re: Comment Period for 24rw
- From: "David Davis" <feline1@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 10 Nov 2010 10:16:44 -0000
-----Original Message-----
From: Anders Österberg
Sent: Wednesday, November 10, 2010 12:06 AM
To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [projectaon] Re: Comment Period for 24rw
Okay. I've read through it, and it wasn't much to comment on. Just a few
things:
* In the story so far, second paragraph: "thirty-three years after the First
Order of the Kai were almost wiped out..." I've brought this up before, but
should it really be a "were" there? It sounds wrong in my Swedish ears.
Wouldn't it be better with a "was" since there is only one group of Kai? I
have the same problem with "the crowd are/is". Maybe it's correct English,
but I'll never get used to it.
Actually, I believe you have a case here, Anders -
for the sentence is definately wrong if written "33 years after [all the
members of] the First Order of the Kai were [all] almost wiped out" -
you cannot "almost" wipe a member of the order out - so the sentence has to
refer to the Order, singular.
So "was" would be my preference here.
David
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