[projectaon] Re: Comment Period for 24rw

  • From: "David Davis" <feline1@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 10 Nov 2010 10:16:44 -0000



-----Original Message----- From: Anders Österberg
Sent: Wednesday, November 10, 2010 12:06 AM
To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [projectaon] Re: Comment Period for 24rw

Okay. I've read through it, and it wasn't much to comment on. Just a few
things:

* In the story so far, second paragraph: "thirty-three years after the First
Order of the Kai were almost wiped out..." I've brought this up before, but
should it really be a "were" there? It sounds wrong in my Swedish ears.
Wouldn't it be better with a "was" since there is only one group of Kai? I
have the same problem with "the crowd are/is". Maybe it's correct English,
but I'll never get used to it.


Actually, I believe you have a case here, Anders -
for the sentence is definately wrong if written "33 years after [all the members of] the First Order of the Kai were [all] almost wiped out" - you cannot "almost" wipe a member of the order out - so the sentence has to refer to the Order, singular.
So "was" would be my preference here.

David

~~~~~~
Manage your subscription at http://www.freelists.org/list/projectaon


Other related posts: