[projectaon] Re: Freeway Warrior - Proposed XML changes and pending concerns.
- From: "Jonathan Blake" <blake.jon@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2006 16:46:13 -0700
I know this is very late in coming, but here it is: my comments to
your Freeway Warrior questions.
On 12/16/05, Iain Smith <iainsmith@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Changes I'd Like To Make:
Change item lists using uppercase to initial capitals (fw1-sect20, fw1-sect85, fw1-sect98), this is the style used everywhere else in the series.
Good.
Change "how many shots" text for consistency, the following are affected:
fw1-sect72: Now decide how many rounds you wish to fire (minimum - one round;
maximum - four rounds)
fw1-sect101: Now decide how many rounds you will fire at the target (minimum -
one round; maximum - six rounds)
fw1-sect131: Now decide how many bursts of fire you intend to launch at the
target (minimum - one round; maximum - five rounds)
fw1-sect233: Now decide how many rounds you wish to fire (minimum - one round;
maximum - four rounds)
fw1-sect261: Now decide how many rounds you wish to fire at the remaining dogs
(minimum: one round; maximum: five rounds)
fw2-sect38: Now decide how many rounds you wish to fire at the clansman
(minimum equals one; maximum equals four)
fw2-sect179: Now decide how many rounds you wish to fire at the clansman
(minimum equals one; maximum equals four)
fw2-sect279: Now decide how many bursts of fire you wish to unleash at the
clansman (minimum equals one; maximum equals four)
fw3-sect36: To this total add 1 point for every round you choose to fire from
your shotgun (minimum equals one round; maximum equals five rounds).
fw3-sect125: To this total add 1 point for every round you choose to fire from
your gun (minimum equals one round; maximum equals three rounds)
fw3-sect148: To this total add 1 point for every round you choose to fire from
your pistol (minimum equals one round; maximum equals eight rounds)
fw3-sect323: To this total add 1 point for every burst you choose to fire from
your machine pistol (minimum equals one round; maximum equals five rounds)
The "burst" ones which also refer to rounds certainly need changing, however I'd like to change them all to use (minimum: one; maximum: whatever) for consistency.
That's fine. I would change all mixed references to bursts and rounds
to use exclusively burst (since you're really firing a burst of
bullets).
"H.E. Grenade" vs "HE Grenade":
Another consistency change. While I think "H.E. Grenade" looks better, it's a much less
substantial change to switch the three occurences of "H.E." Grenade to "HE Grenade"
H.E. Grenade:
FW1 frontmatter & Sections 99, 175
HE Grenade:
FW2 frontmatter & Sections 23, 63, 94, 126, 138, 143, 146, 221, 248, 266, 338,
246, 348
FW3 frontmatter & Sections 54, 82, 150, 261, 320
FW4 frontmatter & Sections 41, 51, 130, 196, 198, 242, 304, 305, 335,
Go for "HE Grenade". I usually like marking abbreviations with
appropriate periods, but this has a military lingo flavor that
persuades me to go the other way.
"the Day" vs "The Day"
Another consistency change. If we ignore the occurences of "The Day" in "Dateline to
Disaster" in all four books (since its a title in InitCaps), then the usage breaks down as
follows:
'the Day' FW1 (x6), FW2 (x11), FW4 (x6)
'The Day' FW3 (x9), FW4 (x1)
My opinion is that it was a monumental event so should really be "The Day"
throughout.
The Day.
"Gulley" vs "Gully"
There are 13 occurences of "Gulley" in FW1 which need changing to "Gully".
Good.
"Syphon" vs "Siphon"
The following occurences of "Syphon" need changing to "Siphon"
FW1: Section 1
FW2: TSSF, Sections 168, 183, 226, 239
FW3: TSSF, Sections 66, 92, 129, 195, 269
FW4: TSSF, Sections 55, 76, 174, 211
Good.
Misc Changes:
FW1, section 216: Replace "Three rounds of 12-gauge shotgun ammunition" with "Three
rounds of 12-gauge ammunition" (all but two occurences of ammo in a list use this format).
FW2, section 130: Replace "Four rounds of 12-gauge Shotgun shells" with "Four rounds
of 12-gauge ammunition" (all but two occurences of ammo in a list use this format).
Fine.
FW3, Section 36: Replace "shot-shell" with "shell" (i.e. "pump a shell into the breach")
Good.
FW3, Section 295: Remove signpost formatting around text about dropping items. This centres the text on the page and looks out of place. It's also the only place this was done in the initial XML.
Good. Xmlizer error, I suppose. Did the original have [ ]s around it?
FW4, section 11: Replace "soothe the inflamations" with "soothe the
inflammation". This corrects the spelling and the misuse of inflammations (which is used when
you get different types of inflammation, rather than two areas of inflammation).
FW4, section 41: Replace "floorplan" with "floor plan".
FW4, section 290: Replace "poppings" with "popping" (i.e. "the distant popping of
gunfire")
Fine.
General Text Issues:
====================
"gun fire", "gunfire" and "machine gun fire"
I originally thought that "gun fire" and "gunfire" should be made more consistent, however they are
both used interchangebly throughout the series and we'd run into problems when "gunfire" was preceded by
machine (i.e. "Machine gunfire"). I now think these should be left alone.
I would go with "gunfire" generally except in cases similar to
"machine gun fire" where there is an extra qualifier on "gun".
"machine gun", "machinegun" and "machine-gun"
Something which requires thought, using dictionary definitions "machine gun" is the term for the actual weapon,
"machinegun" and "machine-gun" are the acts of firing the it (i.e. A person machine-guns a crowd with a machine gun).
I'm not too sure about "machine-gunner" though; I'd suggest that its perfectly valid since he's the person who machine-guns the
machine gun. Opinions? On a similar note, I reckon that "machine-gun fire" (Fw1-sect204) is invalid and should be "machine
gun fire".
Generally the as a noun it should be "machine gun", as a verb
"machine-gun", as an adjective "machine gun" except where it might be
confusing in which case it should be "machine-gun". Am I making sense?
However I prefer "machine gunner". Would my suggestions make for a lot
of work.
"gunsmoke"
"gunsmoke" is not a word, "gun-smoke" has been suggested as a replacement.
Opinions?
gun smoke
Footnotes:
==========
Starting a new game & taking the three meals.
I always played this as the 3 Meals only counting as 1 item from the four
you're allowed to select, despite taking up three backpack slots. Does this
need discussion/clarification and appropriate footnote?
I don't know that there is an official way to look at this, but we
could footnote this just to say "It's your choice." That would mean
that we should go back and footnote other books.
Food
Whenever we show an option to collect food, do we need a footnote clarifying
that the food is one item per backpack slot?
I'm not sure a footnote is necessary, but if so, we should put it in
the Backpack section once, not many times throughout the book.
Preloaded ammo
Can you only take the ammo in a weapon if you take the weapon itself? I always
played that if I found a a weapon I already had, I could add the ammo to my
supply without taking the additional weapon. Is this the case, or should you
only take the ammo if it is listed separate to a weapon?
I'm not sure this needs a footnote either, but for the record, I
always just took the ammo. There's no real reason that I can see to
believe otherwise.
FW2, section 207: You are told to erase items 2 & 3, or if you don't have 2 items to erase medikits instead. Do we need footnote clarification of how to handle 1 & 2 items? (i.e. carrying 2 items = lose both, carrying 1 item = lose item + 1 medikit; see sect227, where this is explicitly explained).
What about when you're carrying nothing in slots 2 and 3, and only one
medikit? Should you then drop a weapon? Instead of a medikit or in
addition to the medikit? :)
Specific Issues:
================
FW3, section 39: "large enough to of the truck". Major errata, not an easy fix.
I don't know if anyone has spotted this yet, but "Within a minute he
has made a hole large enough to" is the beginning of the last
paragraph in the previous section (38) where it happens to make sense.
So I assume that it was not really supposed to be here at all. So
we're left with "...of the truck, there is another sharp crack,
followed by the trailing sound of a rifle shot echoing across the
surrounding mountains."
In Section 277, you're given the choice "If you wish to glance over
the truck to see if you can locate the sniper's position, turn to 39."
I think the best bet is to say something very generic like "On the
other side of the truck,...".
Have we confirmed that US editions had this same error? I don't happen
to have a US copy.
FW3, section 276: "one a.m.", does this need changing? If so, what to? there are many possibles: "One am", "One AM", "One A.M.", "1am", "1AM", etc.
This is the only occurrence in all of the books that I can find for a
use of either a.m. or p.m. (or variations thereof). No guidance there.
I prefer "1 a.m.".
FW4, section 111: Should the weapon item checks include the CCS bonus to identify them as weapons? sect22 refers to a "dagger (2)", should these be "Hammer (2)", "Baseball Bat (2)", "Fire Axe (3)"
I don't have a copy of California Countdown handy, so I might have to
defer this question until I can grab a copy.
FW4, section 125: "frustratedly" isn't a true word. Should this be replaced with "frustrated", i.e. "'It's no good,' you say, frustrated."
How about "you say in frustration."?
FW4, section 282: "undrawn" not a word, use "withdrawn"? i.e. "a grenade, its pin withdrawn"
Again more context would be helpful, so I'll take a look. At first
glance, I agree as long as we're talking about the grenade with the
pin missing, and not the grenade with pin still in place.
--
Jon
Other related posts: