[projectaon] Re: Freeway Warrior - Proposed XML changes and pending concerns.
- From: Iain Smith <iainsmith@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2006 09:15:41 -0700 (PDT)
Okay, I've made some sweeping changes to take on board Jon's mail (yes, I'm
sticking with
insane method of working on all four books simultaneously), the summary is at
the end of
this mail. Some of the suggested changes had already been made, but I'll
re-cover them
here. If these changes look fine to everyone, I'll submit the changes to CVS:
Change uppercase item lists in FW01 to use InitCaps:
Already submitted in an earlier revision.
"How many shots" text:
I've updated all of the entries throughout the series to use the format
"(minimum - one
round; maximum - xxx rounds)" for the rifle, pistol and shotgun, and "(minimum
- one
burst; maximum - xxx bursts)" for the machine pistol.
"H.E. Grenade" vs "HE Grenade":
I've updated all occurrences to use "HE Grenade".
"the Day" vs "The Day"
I've updated all occurrences to use "The Day".
"Gulley" vs "Gully":
Already submitted in an earlier revision.
"Syphon" vs "Siphon"
I've updated all occurrences to use "Siphon".
Signpost formatting in FW3, Section 295:
I corrected this a while back. Jon: Yes, the text in the original book was
encased in
braces. I guess that somehow the XMLiser accidentally picked up this in the
initial move
to XML.
"Soothe the inflamations":
Updated to use "Soothe the inflammation".
"Gunfire" vs "Gun fire"
All cases of "gun fire" have been changed to "gunfire", except when used as
"Machine gun
fire". Similarly, all references to "machine gunfire" have been switched to
"machine gun
fire".
"Machine-gun" vs "Machine gun"
All noun usage of "machine-gun" has changed to "machine gun", instances of
"machine-gunner" and "machine-gunning" switched to "machine gunner" and
"machine gunning"
respectively.
"Gunsmoke"
All instances changed to "Gun smoke"
FW3, Section 39 ("Within a minute..."):
I can't believe I never noticed the "Within a minute he has made a hole large
enough to"
text in section 38 before, I've certainly read it enough times. It now clearly
comes
across as a typo/misprint now. I've updated the text to use Jon's suggestion
of "On the
other side of the truck,...". Jon: Yes, the US Pacer/Berkley version of the
book still
had this error, that's what made it all the more annoying; I guess the FW books
didn't
have much funding for proof-reading :)
"One a.m."
Changed as suggested.
Footnotes:
I've ignored my original footnote suggestions for now, they seemed to make
sense at the
time, but 6 months later they seem a little OTT. Like Jon said, most of them
are common
sense.
FW4, Section 111:
I'll try to explain myself better here, along with the relevant section text
for those
without access to the books. The section text ends: "As the paint on the inside
of the
laboratory door blisters and ignites, you hammer frantically at the window with
the butt
of your gun. Pick a number from the Random Number Table and add to it your
Strength skill
score. If you possess a Monkey Wrench, a Hammer, or a Baseball Bat, add 2
points to your
score. If you possess a Fire Axe, add 4 points. If your total score is 9 or
less, turn to
273. If your total score is 10 or more, turn to 72."
There are two things of concern here, the first is quite major. Namely, there
is no such
thing as a "Strength" skill. The Stealth skill is supposed to indicate physical
fitness,
so I guess that is what was intended, comments people?
The second is more of a clarification than a problem, as you can see, there is
no
indication that the wrench, hammer, bat and axe are weapons, not backpack items
(other
than them not being in bold in the book). FW4, sect22 has a similar situation,
but there
the CCS bonus is placed next to the dagger to clarify that it is a weapon, i.e.
"A close
examination of the keyhole reveals that the doors are held by a five-lever
Matthews
deadlock: picking this lock will not be easy. Pick a number from the Random
Number Table
and add to it your Field Craft skill score. If you possess a Dagger (2), a Tool
Kit, or
Screwdriver, add 3 points to your total. If your total score is 9 or less, turn
to 130.
If your total score is 10 or more, turn to 277."
I'm simply wondering if we should update section 111 to follow suit. i.e.
"...If you
possess a Monkey Wrench (2), a Hammer (2), or a Baseball Bat (2), add 2 points
to your
score. If you possess a Fire Axe (3), add 4 points..." though that does make
the text
slightly cluttered; perhaps a footnote would be more apt?
"a grenade, its pin undrawn"
This one can be ignored, while "undrawn" is not listed in some dictionaries, it
can be
considered a valid transitive verb.
*************************************************************************
Changes Summary
*************************************************************************
FW01 - Highway Holocaust
------------------------
CalStory: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (x3) (E)
equipmnt: "H.E. (High Explosive) GRENADE" -> "H.E. (High Explosive) GRENADE" (E)
Sect001: "syphoned" -> "siphoned" (E)
Sect026: "machine-gunner" -> "machine gunner" (E)
Sect072: "(minimum - one round; maximum - four rounds)" -> "(minimum: one
round;
maximum: four rounds)" (E)
Sect096: "machine-gunner" -> "machine gunner" (E)
Sect099: "H.E. Grenade" -> "HE Grenade" (E)
Sect101: "(minimum - one round; maximum - six rounds)" -> "(minimum: one
round;
maximum: six rounds)"
Sect105: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect131: "(minimum - one round; maximum - five rounds)" -> "(minimum: one
burst;
maximum: five bursts)"
Sect132: "machine-gunner" -> "machine gunner" (E)
Sect160: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect175: "H.E. Grenade" -> "HE Grenade" (E)
Sect195: "machine-gunner" -> "machine gunner" (E)
Sect204: "machine-gunner" -> "machine gunner" (E)
Sect216: "Three rounds of 12-gauge shotgun ammunition" -> "Three rounds of
12-gauge
ammunition"
Sect233: "(minimum - one round; maximum - four rounds)" -> "(minimum: one
round;
maximum: four rounds)"
Sect250: "machine-gunner" -> "machine gunner" (E)
Sect257: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
FW02 - Slaughter Mountain Run
-----------------------------
TSSF: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (x3) (E), "Syphoned" -> "Siphoned" (E)
Sect008: "gun fire" -> "gunfire" (E)
Sect018: "gun fire" -> "gunfire" (E)
Sect038: "(minimum equals one; maximum equals four)" -> "(minimum: one round;
maximum:
four rounds)" (E)
Sect061: "gun fire" -> "gunfire" (E)
Sect094: "H.E. Grenade" -> "HE Grenade" (E)
Sect123: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect127: "gun fire" -> "gunfire" (E)
Sect130: "Four rounds of 12-gauge Shotgun shells" -> "Four rounds of 12-gauge
ammunition" (E)
Sect153: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect168: "syphon" -> "siphon" (E)
Sect178: "machine-gunning" -> "machine gunning" (E)
Sect179: "(minimum equals one; maximum equals four)" -> "(minimum: one round;
maximum:
four rounds)" (E)
Sect183: "syphoned" -> "siphoned" (E)
Sect205: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect208: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect226: "syphoning" -> "siphoning" (E)
Sect239: "syphon" -> "siphon" (E)
Sect250: "gun fire" -> "gunfire" (E)
Sect279: "(minimum equals one; maximum equals four)" -> "(minimum: one burst;
maximum:
four bursts)" (E)
Sect288: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect292: "gun fire" -> "gunfire" (E)
Sect303: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect321: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect331: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
FW03 - The Omega Zone
---------------------
TSSF: "Syphoned" -> "Siphoned" (E)
Sect036: "shot-shell" -> "shell"
Sect036: "(minimum equals one round; maximum equals five rounds)" ->
"(minimum: one
round; maximum: five rounds)"
Sect039: "Within a minute he has made a hole large enough to of the truck,
there is
another sharp crack" -> "On the other side of the truck, there is another sharp
crack"
(E)
Sect066: "syphon" -> "siphon" (E)
Sect092: "syphoning" -> "siphoning" (E), "syphon" -> "siphon" (E)
Sect125: "(minimum equals one round; maximum equals three rounds)" ->
"(minimum: one
round; maximum: three rounds)" (E)
Sect129: "syphon" -> "siphon" (E)
Sect148: "(minimum equals one round; maximum equals eight rounds)" ->
"(minimum: one
round; maximum: eight rounds)" (E)
Sect150: "gunsmoke" -> "gun smoke" (E)
Sect195: "syphon" -> "siphon" (E)
Sect252: "machine gunfire" -> "machine gun fire" (E)
Sect269: "syphon" -> "siphon" (E)
Sect276: "one a.m." -> "1 a.m." (E)
Sect323: "(minimum equals one round; maximum equals five rounds)" ->
"(minimum: one
burst; maximum: five bursts)" (E)
FW04 - California Countdown
---------------------------
TSSF: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (x2) (E)
Sect001: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect002: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect011: "inflamations" -> "inflammation" (E)
Sect024: "machine gunfire" -> "machine gun fire" (E)
Sect121: "machine gunfire" -> "machine gun fire" (E)
Sect125: "you say, frustratedly." -> "you say in frustration." (E)
Sect171: "gunsmoke" -> "gun smoke" (E)
Sect200: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
Sect282: "his riding seat. seat." -> "his riding seat." (E)
Sect308: "machine gunfire" -> "machine gun fire" (E)
Sect339: "'the Day'" -> "'The Day'" (E)
*************************************************************************
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
Other related posts: