[projectaon] Re: Footnotes Galore
- From: Jonathan Blake <jonathan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: Project Aon List <projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 8 Aug 2014 12:00:01 -0700
BOOK 4
~~~~~
22: Section rewritten. Footnote incorporated into the section text. [JR]
[so: Could reword the text slightly to, "to remove your means of
illumination" or something, but even that is a bit ugly.]
How far do we want to take this? The following suggestion seems like a
lot of changes to make on our own. How did the Collector's Edition
handle this? Footnotes may be the cleaner way to preserve the
original.
(Also note that readers should also have a Tinderbox in their Backpack
if they are using a Torch, so the note about the Backpack may be
superfluous. Am I missing something?)
Original:
You fumble in your Backpack to remove a Torch, and in doing so, you
drop one other item from your Backpack into the crevasse. (If you were
only carrying a Torch, you have lost a Weapon instead.)
You eventually manage to light the new Torch and make your way safely
across to the other side of the bridge.
Suggestion:
You fumble for your light, and in doing so, you drop one item from
your Backpack into the crevasse. (If you were not carrying any
Backpack Items other than a Torch that you are now using, you have
lost a Weapon instead.)
You eventually manage to make your way safely across to the other side
of the bridge.
~~~~~
29: Section rewritten. Footnote incorporated into the section text. [JR]
[SO: Maybe add the parenthetical footnote to the end of the initial
paragraph (PA edition). "(You need not erase any Torches from your
Action Chart in this instance.)"]
Agreed.
~~~~~
117: Section rewritten. Footnote incorporated into the section text. [JR]
[SO: Maybe rewrite the option to "If in your Backpack you have another
Torch <em>and</em> a Tinderbox, or a Kalte Firesphere, turn to 22."]
Agreed.
~~~~~
272: Section rewritten. Footnote incorporated into the section text. [JR]
[SO: Maybe add: "(If you possess two Weapons, you may choose which one
you have lost.)" ]
Agreed.
--
Jon
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