[projectaon] Re: Footnotes Galore
- From: Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 10:47:30 +0100
On 13/08/2014 00:05, Jonathan Blake wrote:
BOOK 5
~~~~~
56: Section rewritten. Footnote incorporated into the section text. [JR]
Add: "You may record the Jakan on your Action Chart as a Weapon. The
Bow may be of use to you sometime in the future."
~~~~~
I'd rather it say something like "(You may record the Jakan Bow as a
Weapon on your Action Chart. You must possess an arrow in order to use
this Weapon.)" This discretely holds out the hope of future utility
without giving the player a way to use it until the next book.
Is it obvious enough that the arrow found in this section is lost once used? :)
I capitalised 'Arrow' as well, since it is an item that can be taken.
Since you don't get to fire the Bow in this adventure, expository text
about crossing the Arrow off your Action Chart when used seems
unnecessary. Leave that to The Game Rules for Book 6. :D
~~~~~
58: Section rewritten. Footnote incorporated into the section text.
(the "wrong choice" section is 156 instead of the footnote's 98,
though) [JR]
~~~~~
How about this?
If you choose the wrong combination, you do not get a second guess.
Turn immediately to 98.
If you do not know the number and do not attempt to open the door, turn to 156.
Done! It's definitely an improvement to get that information into the
main text.
~~~~~
135: Section rewritten. Footnote incorporated into the section text. [JR]
"lose this combat, turn to 161" -> "lose this combat, turn
<em>immediately</em> to 161"
"win this combat, turn" -> "win this combat, restore half of any
ENDURANCE points you lost (rounding fractions down) and turn"
~~~~~
I agree with the change to the winning choice, but I don't see the
need to add "immediately" to the losing choice.
OK, left the first option as-is; altered the second option accordingly.
Updated xml has also been submitted. When I looked at this E-mail, I
thought the changes would be more difficult to implement that they
turned out to be. Or maybe removing footnotes is just such a pleasant
experience that it overshadows the fiddly nature of the task. *shrug*
--
Simon Osborne
Project Aon
~~~~~~
Manage your subscription at http://www.freelists.org/list/projectaon
Other related posts: