[projectaon] Re: Wolf's Bane Outstanding Issues
- From: Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 14 Jan 2009 13:06:21 +0000
Hi all
OK, I've updated the Errata list accordingly so far on things that are decided
by at least 95%. ;-)
<http://www.projectaon.org/en/Errata/WolfsBane>
This is now looking very healthy indeed. I'm sure a few more points might be picked up in
playtesting, but it's almost ready to go. What's left:
Jonathan Blake wrote:
On Tue, Jan 13, 2009 at 3:30 AM, Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
(er) 30: what the dangers -> what dangers
[jb: correct as-is]
"...vow that you will never lose hope, no matter what the dangers you may
have yet to face."
It definitely seems to me that this should be altered.
Cf. "I will do it no matter what the cost."
Which is a not a sentence structure I can say is used much where I live. ;-)
Also, the phrase "...no matter what the cost." contains an implicit "may be": I will do it no matter
what the cost [may be [to myself]].
The sentence in this section doesn't leave it implicit: "You offer up a prayer to them to watch over
you during the coming trial of strength, and vow that you will never lose hope, no matter what the
dangers you may have yet to face."
If the sentence had ended "...what the dangers." I could agree with you to an extent, but by adding
on the "...you may yet have to face.", it changes the structure of the sentence so that "the" before
"dangers" isn't just unnecessary, it actually breaks the flow of the sentence. IMHO, of course.
But this will be my final say on the matter. ;-)
(er) 57: power word -> word of power
[jb: correct as-is]
It's certainly not incorrect as-is, but the name of the spell is Power Word.
Should this therefore be <spell>Power Word</spell>? That would look messy. I
thought disambiguating "word of power" from the actual spell name would be
better. On the other hand, "...utter the word of power of the Elder Magi..."
might not be as punchy. I'll defer to you, Jon.
I'm not opposed to <spell>Power Word</spell>.
Ah! I had a quick look and I found an example of why I wasn't happy just promoting power word to
<spell>Power Word</spell>.
28THoS Section 41: "You shape your mouth in readiness to utter the Old Kingdom power word
<spell>Gloar!</spell> and project..." It occurs in a few other books as well. This is why I proposed
"power word -> word of power". I don't know if you have any further thoughts on this, Jon.
(er) 131: incarcerated -> interred [LM]
[jb: I'm trying to decide if this is just metaphoric speech]
Doesn't seem to invoke metaphor to my ears. I think this should be changed.
I'm actually leaning the other way. I'm loathe to change something
that Dever may have intended as something of a metaphor. It feels like
interfering with his artistic vision, and I don't feel a mandate to do
that. :)
I can't see any other metaphoric or poetic allusions in the surrounding text, so I would probably
change this, but I'll concede the point that it *just * *might* have been deliberate rather than a
typo. ;-) Rejected.
(er) 234: Hold Enemy and -> Hold Enemy, and (for consistency; this is
how the commas are generally used in lw) [LM]
[jb: we usually surround with commas, right? - also, I don't think Spell
should be capitalised]
2) Quoting 18dotd Section 9: "Quickly you intone the words of the Old
Kingdom Spell Hold Enemy and direct its power at Prince Lutha." Commas
following or surrounding spell names seem to be on a case-by-case basis. I
think this instance requires a comma after, not necessarily before. Unless
commas surrounding Spell names will become part of the PAMoS?
I see the spell name as a nonessential appositive which should be set
off from the sentence by commas. I believe that it's technically
correct to use commas, and may aid the reader.
OK, that sounds fair. How should we handle something like <spell>Gloar!</spell> when it occurs
mid-sentence? Should we add a comma after it, or would that be unnecessary as the exclamation
contains its own punctuation? Once I know, I'll get to work on Books 13-28 to implement this as a
standard.
Pending (Not Errata)
(ne) Title: origins [LM: it isn't clear what origins is]
Is there a website we can link to?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origins_Game_Fair
http://www.originsgamefair.com/
I spent about 10 minutes trying to work out exactly how to add in the link (not the technical <a
idref> stuff; actually reworking the sentence(s)) and I'm stumped! >_< It hinges on the fact that
when mentioned in the jdlwbio.inc file, Origins doesn't necessarily seem linked to the AD&D World
Championships. If someone else wants to reword this and add in the link, please go ahead. :-)
(ft) Disciplines: Grand Huntmastery -> footnote re: meals [DED: It is
only in the Equipment section that is says "If you have chosen the
Discipline of Grand Huntmastery as one of your skills, you will not need to
tick off a Meal when instructed to eat." I was playing last night and I
didn't read this line until after I'd already chosen Grand Huntmastery, and
then chosen 2 Meals for my equipment. We could add a footnote here to
explain the relevance of Huntmastery to meals]
This is central enough that I vote for inclusion in the text, not a footnote.
Excellent. Fixed in Books 13-28. (I also tidied up the Errata lists for Books 13-20 a little to
remove outstanding issues that have actually already been fixed.)
Illustration Placements
small 12 Cloud castle [so: 109?]
I'd be interested in hearing feedback on the small illustration placements
I've used, but particularly with small12.png. It just doesn't seem to fit
anywhere except Section 109, and that already has Illustration 6 in
it--which is also of the cloud castle! Help would be much appreciated here.
Though not referencing the castle directly, perhaps 50 (and parallel
sections, if any) where you're in the castle and about to confront
Wolf's Bane. Kind of a leitmotif to Illustration 17.
Sold! There are no parallel sections; it's one of Joe's "rallying points".
Descriptive alternatives to illustrations:
Section 177:
The bomb is a square, box-like device. On the front side, a large timer is counting down second by
second. It is currently at 29. Beneath this are the four smaller windows. The first window contains
the number 1.3000. The second window contains the number 13.000. The fourth window contains the
number 1300.00. The third window is blank, awaiting the correct number.
Section 252:
The left bank of three dials are set to 21, 37, and 39 respectively. The first dial of the right
bank is set to 37, leaving the display above the rightmost dial blank, awaiting your input.
Map:
The proud country of Sommerlund juts out eastwards into the cold Kaltesee, while to the west it
abuts the grim, grey wall of the Durncrag Mountains, a natural barrier protecting the Sommlending
from the evil Darklords of Helgedad. Despite its proximity to the Darklands, Sommerlund is a
prosperous and fertile country, with many towns and villages. Dotted from north to south along the
Durncrags lie border outposts and forts such as Shadow Pass to the west of the city of Toran, and
Fort Durnspa, to the northeast of the capital city--Holmgard.
Northwest of Holmgard is Toran, while north by northeast is the city of Anskaven. Travelling west by
southwest along the main highway from Anskaven through the villages of Pinestar, Doven, and
Cherrison, would bring you to Toran. Sommerlund's other city, Tyso, lies about fifty miles northeast
along the coast from Holmgard.
Travelling east along the main highway from Holmgard, a traveller would pass through the towns of
Fairam and Eastgate, before the rugged hilly land gives way to the barren wasteland of The
Wildlands. Two small Wildland villages cling to the coast, served by this highway, namely Vanosa and
Duncrick, before the city of Ragadorn, at the mouth of the River Dorn. Beyond Ragadorn, the highway
continues east, with no further settlements for many leagues.
To the east of Sommerlund, in the Gulf of Durenor, lie the Kirlundin Isles, a small archipelago of
islands that descend in a lazy arc from northeast to south. Of the named Kirlundin Isles--from north
to south, Broka, Egen, Thet, Hemd, Kirlu, and Mannon--only Kirlu is large enough to sustain more
than one town or village of any size. Between the Kirlundins and the mainland of Sommerlund lie the
Kirlundin Straits.
--
Simon Osborne
Project Aon
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